{Animus}

[adstring_npc]

[ there is a static hum on everyone's PCD, as the screen goes black. it starts to whisper, before ghostly voices seep through the communication lines ]


thicker than water
and harder to _clean

but true ties are on the inside
which makes them messy to ^connect
the spots we tried some didn't fit

do not forget

we tried to believe

Comments

[buntails.livejournal.com]

Everyone!

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

I don't. In fact this whole thing was justified as being for our good--for my good too--but you know what?

I never fucking asked for your help. I didn't ask any of you to do this, and if I get backlash for it, you're to blame.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

Horst...

[She really isn't sure she likes the newer, sharper-tempered Horst.]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[It's mostly the fact his soul is falling apart. It's also that he has his own agenda and this has really, really fucked it up. He feels guilty for yelling at Usagi, and that shows in his expression and in the way he hesitates. But he goes on, seemingly unable to stop himself.]

What? You expected those of us who want to live here peacefully to applaud you for endangering us? I had plenty of that at home!

[buntails.livejournal.com]

That's not it! If people had gotten hurt... I'd never forgive myself! But I knew I'd fight with all my heart not to let that happen.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[And there's a sudden, very bitter look.]

Try all you want. People still die. People still get hurt because of things you do.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

[She's instantly terrified someone was really hurt because of her that she doesn't know about.]

Who was hurt? [Her voice comes out thin with fear.]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[In a sense, someone did--someone is being hurt--but Horst can't tell her that. He can't even say the name.]

It's too late now, isn't it? You already went.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

What happened?! I can fix it. If something happened because of me... If I don't even know what, how can I do anything about it?!

[Horst, this is possibly the worst thing you could do to her. Hear those tears? See them?]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[The worst thing for him is that there isn't anything she can do. There may not even be anything he can do, at this point. And it kills him.]

You can't.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

[The sudden energy leaves her and she all but whispers]

What happened?

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[But at this point it's too much to think about, with everything else that has happened. He can't think about it right now, he can't, he can't--]

It doesn't matter.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

I see. It was that bad.

[She's the worst. She wasn't even thinking. Now people are hurt because of her and she didn't even know. She was so wrapped up in-

Her thoughts race on and on as she cries.]

I'm sorry.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[Horst shakes his head, wanting badly to comfort her, but what can possibly be said? Everything he said was the truth.]

I just--

I'm sorry.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

[It goes so far beyond Horst. It goes back a thousand years - more. It goes back to every hateful thing believed about her that has been so far from the truth - the Moon Kingdom that was never planning to take over Earth, the future queen who never wanted to reject the descendants of Nemesis, the mother who never hated or neglected her daughter but only wanted to teach her to grow up and stand on her own - and every time she's had to wonder if it's true.

She feels like she shouldn't be around people. And it doesn't help that she's felt out of sorts somewhat anyway, with so many friends forgetting her - six of them in two weeks - and so many coming and going. Trying to hold it together for Rei and Zack has been hard now that the one forgetting is Cloud.]

I'm sorry Horst.

[And she doesn't even know why.]

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[And as much as his soul protests, Horst cares about her, and it hurts him that he hurt her.

His voice softens, and he sounds defeated, helpless.]

It's not your fault. You didn't even go all the way into the City....

[buntails.livejournal.com]

Horst... [Her voice comes out calm, but very quiet.]

Please at least tell me what happened. I haven't heard anything about this.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

[He starts to, but this is too public. Honestly, anywhere is too public anymore.]

Not here.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

Where? I'll come anywhere.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

You choose. It's only fair. I shouldn't have snapped at you.

[buntails.livejournal.com]

It's alright. But I don't know where we should meet.

[flameandpassion]

[Now you've gone and done it, Horst.

You've made Usagi upset. And now, you're guilting her.

Which means you've pissed Rei off.]

Shut up.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

Stay out of it, for fuck's sake just shut up for once, Rei.

[flameandpassion]

You're a special sort of sleaze, aren't you? Yelling at her for something that doesn't even concern you and now you have the nerve to guilt her about it? Whatever vendetta you have, it doesn't concern her, so keep your mouth shut.

She's twice the person you will ever be and I have had to up to here with people treating her like that.

Don't speak to her in that tone again.

[ahandsomedevil.livejournal.com]

Why are you still talking?

You know if you stopped coddling her and let her sort out her own relationships on her own, you'd save yourself a hell of a lot of stress. Besides which she's much, much better at it than you are. Do her a favor and back off.