adstring_npc | {Unified Universe Project} [Video]

[The PCD comes on, focused on a rather orderly desk. The 'inbox' on the desk is full and Donna is standing next to it. Chairman Springsteen leans into the shot, reaching to grab and open one of the files.]

No, they all say the same thing. Reasonless panic. [He shrugs and moves it to the 'outbox.']

It's not their fault that you have them looking for anything that changes. Or that they're stupid mice, the most of them. How big is the change? [Donna's smirking and leaning over the desk, toward him. It can be noted that her blouse is low-cut, and her heels are perhaps a bit higher than are professional.]

Less than .002%. Nothing to panic over. Though the chemists are bothered. Some substance they were messing with turned into cola. [Springsteen is smirking as he rests his elbows on the desk.]

Well. This world is... [Donna shrugs.] ...predictable in its unpredictability. If they're so bothered, send some of them out. Bao wants out of her cage.

[The Chairman shakes his head.] No. I have her busy with other things.

[Donna straightens, clearly pissed off. Her lips tighten.] Another side project that you didn't tell me about?

[He snorts.] Hardly. It got approved by all of us months ago. It's just taken time to get her to head down that road. She's hardly as biddable as Morimoto was. He was useful, you know.

To a point. [She no longer looks quite as angry.] Send some of the mice out to look around, then. Ones that the snakes won't bite.

Snakes don't bite mice. They swallow them whole. [Another file gets opened; he's not paying so much attention to Donna anymore.] But some of ours should be safe. Send Andrew in on your way out. We'll pick a few.

[Slowly, very slowly, Donna adjusts her blouse. Her voice is frosty.] On my way out. There were several other things on the agenda, as you--

[The PCD times out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Tomatoes don't generally have teeth t'bite your tongue with. Or legs to run away with. None that I've ever seen, anyhow. 'ave you ever swallowed a tomato only t'have it gnaw your throat up?

I'm sure if someone gave Abbot the idea we'd have tomatoes with teeth and legs. Not yet. Let's wait for next salad bar night.

I'm sure that'd make salad a bit more interesting. Not much ever goes on with a bit a' lettuce, an' those cheap little shaved carrots. Tomatoes that can walk away from you would only help. Jus' tell him to leave off adding tails.

Are you at all sane?

You 'ave people that can add teeth to fruit, an' you're questioning me?

You're suggesting teeth be added to tomatoes!

[He shakes his head. This is the first time he's been caught off guard by an Outsider.]

My tomatoes don't need teeth, and I'm not going to start eating things that bite back.

Just making an' offer! Got t'make offers so you know what options you want on your tomatoes, yes?

[Looks a little puzzled at the reaction]

An' that's fine and sensible enough. You don't look too snakey, so at least you don't have to worry about eatin' mice.

They're tomatoes! You just eat them...

[The Chairman sighs, staring at her through the PCD.]

Are you human?

After washing the bugs off, sure. 'Less the bugs already got inside.

...And a'course I am! Perfectly human!

Then you don't eat the bug-infested tomatoes.

You're not from my Earth. You think differently than most.

Unless you like bugs. Poor things aren't very popular, tho'.

Someone has to! But I wonder how many Earths are there, floatin' around. Awful boring name, callin' a planet after dirt, but so many places use it.

Because no one sane wants to eat bugs.

It is boring. What would you call it... [His voice trails off as he flips through a file cabinet.] Arienette?

True enough, 'less they're a lizard-person, or just a lizard.

An' that's a tough one! Maybe Abraxas? Always liked th' sound of that one.

You know lizard people?

Abraxas. [Now he's grabbing a book off the shelf.] Gnostic. Stones and planets. You're Gnostic?

Hopefully not! Don't want to, neither.

Maybe. Just a bit, though 'ow do I know your-world Gnostics are like mine? Did think sis shoulda named me Sophia...

Sophia, Sophia... [He's flipping pages.]

Fallen from grace, helped to create the world. Why would your sister name you?

No reason, she just likes naming things, I s'pose.

...you 'ave books you can look me up in?

But normally parents name.

No. I have a file on you, but that doesn't help me much. I have a book on religious terms, though.

Tell me about yourself, Arienette Sophia.

They do that too, but why stick with just one name, when it wears out?

Nothin' much to me, so no need for a book. An' there's nothing to tell. Don't have any powers, never seen any of th' good wars. Entirely normal!

Names wear out, on your earth?

Entirely normal, with a very different outlook on things. I'm not so sure you are normal.

Sometimes they stop applyin', so you have to stick a new one on top.

It's normal to me... What's wrong with thinking 'round things?

That's when you add Sophie?

I didn't say it was wrong. How attached are you to your DNA?

Didn't get t'add it, though. Not even hyphenate it. Woulda settled for semi-coloning it too.

DNA? Not sure how much I 'ave left.

You could add it now. Or we could. We could call you Arienette-Sophie.

All we'd need is a hair with its roots attached. Though a blood sample would be useful as well.